Above: Barber Motorsports Parkway. The Blitzwagen at speed, enjoying a moment of electronic connectivity.
The 2.38 mile high-speed roller coaster of a track is complete with blind corners. Bring tools and Band-Aids.
Team "BeatRetro Racing" meets Team "RetroRacing" on the track and the
Racing Gods stick it up their tailpipe too.
We are in the tech line at Barber, out first test of endurance an unrelenting freezing cold February Friday night in Birmingham,
right ahead of us was the big military green-brown camo-themed 1978 Camaro that has BUG GUTS painted on its nose. They mean us.
So, who is "BeatRetro Racing" and why do they want to beat us? They are friends, a local (Birmingham area) family team with a
killer fabrication shop and a penchant for V8's. Dad is Dale Sale, highly experienced Mustang road racer, his novice, son and daughter,
and his motorcycle racer son-in-law Justin. Justin has in fact previously raced Barber on his bike. "We don't have to beat anybody
else but you," Dale told us with a smile.
With friends like this you don't need enemies. After having crewed with us at last year's Barber, one CMP event, and one HSR,
Dale and Justin decided to build a LeMons Camaro and use us as their target benchmark.
I think Dale's mistake was using part of our team name. The Racing Gods read entry lists, and pre-curse many on it. Saves time.
So this race BeatRetro Racing caught the first Double Whammy because they were ahead of us in the tech line.
BeatRetro then set the first record of the event. Longest time in Tech, or Death by a Thousand Violations. They have to take
their Camaro back to their shop and work on it until early AM. Had they been at Sebring or CMP, etc., they would not been able
to make all the changes and race.
We roll in the Blitzwagen, and a Tech official fresh off the Camaro steps up. I hand him our tech sheet. "Clean slate," I say.
"We're new from the tires down." Maybe destroying BeatRetro has sated him. "Okay!" he says. "Adjustable trembler, check,
total loss lubrication system, check, what is this? The high performance model with the metal head bolts? Nice. Simulated
aerodynamics, check, and wait a minute, Magic Magnet motor mounts? You guys don't miss a trick do you? -- Passed!"
Blitzwagen 1, Camaro 0.
The Camaro arrived just after dawn, the glassy-eyed BeatRetro crew still smelling of acetylene, and they hustle
the car through a surprised tech, and make the grid.
Saturday morning, 07Feb15, 0930 hrs. The green flag drops for the 79 entries. Hawkeye is in the driver's seat, and
begins lapping as smoothly as if he was driving an automatic. The engine was making so much torque he was racing
in third gear, running from hairpin creep to 90 MPH straights on throttle alone. Barber is a tight course.
Then David took over, and using the gears posted a very nice 2:03. But David was detecting some missing, and told
Dr. Steve to watch out for it as they refueled and Steve took over. We are on 44mm throttle body Kads, 34mm venturis,
and 160 main jets. We're burning about 5 gallons of pump gas an hour.
It apparently took the Racing Gods a while to sort out that there were two Retros in the race. Believe me, they have
enough Hoodoo and Voodoo to go around. Our one actual mechanical problem was discovered when Steve brought the
Blitzwagen in after a half hour on track. We found it quite by accident looking for missing and lack of power. There was a
broken chromoly long case stud on the 3-4 cylinder side, and a loosening long case stud on the 1-2 cylinder side.
Above: We did as quick an engine swap as we could, hoping against hope that we were fixing the power
problem, Of course, we weren't.
The RetroRacing mechanical misfortune list is infamous, and sometimes described by onlookers as "accursed."
In the words of a wag who once watched us suffer through the endurance racing equivalent of the seven
Biblical plagues; "I don't know how you guys do it. I would have quit and been drinking hours ago."
Racing axiom: "No matter what went wrong, it will probably look right." Those who have had to solve them
will testify that a ghostly, shifting ground fault is in a class of frustration all by itself. Especially if you don't
know it's a ground fault and think it's mechanical. Or fuel.
We finally found the problem after the race. The cause was a rear-end collision we had at CMP at the
September 2014 race, which had visibly shifted the front-mounted battery in its aluminum L-bracket frame.
We had resecured the battery, and checked the battery post clamps. All tight. But we missed the loosening
negative cable at its clamp because it was buried in foam padding. The car had not been raced since then,
and diabolically during shop tuning, not missed a beat.
And of course, once racing again, the intermittent connection changed with vibration. So, to make a long
story short, the engine missing, crazy tach needle bounce, the total but temporary engine shutdowns on the
track, fuel pumps quitting, carbs taken apart, fuel lines blown out, distributors changed, the inexplicable oil
pressure warning light flickering ... all because of a loose negative battery cable. And each stop for trouble
shooting cost us laps.
BeatRetro isn't doing much better. They have failing ignition, a shift linkage that won't stay together, and a
crazy vibration that seemed to be a drive shaft trying to escape, and a loose exhaust manifold. Daddy Dale is
doing okay at the wheel, son-in-law Justin, new to racing four-wheel, is getting over his fear of actually passing
another LeMons car (thinking them prone to Jihad-like suicide ramming), and son and daughter are thrilled at
actually being in a race.
Mercifully, at sunset the checkered flag waves and half the event is over. We've survived the cold on hot goulash.
Tools are scattered among the cups and bowls. Nothing we've done to make the Blitzwagen run right has worked.
Misery loves company. Dale Sale walks over from his Camaro paddock, and says "Damnest thing I've ever seen.
We've got stuff breaking that never breaks!"
Sunday Morning, 08Feb15. The green flag drops.
Jamrod, our shortest driver, is leading out for us today, Barret having revised some dash wiring and equipped him
with his own private kill switch. This is Jamrod's first race at Barber and the steep downhill runoffs and blind curves
make him careful. The Blitzwagen is on new Accelera rubber, big 225-60-15's on the rear and it is handling good. We
can't say great, because no one has been able to push it that hard yet with the erratic running.
Above: Jamie belts in for his driving stint. Notice crew member in passenger door, ready to block if the driver
suddenly decides to run for it.
When Barret goes out, determined to go fast or break, he has a total engine shutdown while apexing the infield hairpin
and spins from the same as lift-off oversteer. He ends up facing traffic and cars are dodging him left and right. The traffic
cannot see him until they come through the turn. Double yellows waving, disaster is averted over and over until a tow truck
gets there and blocks for Barret. The Blitzwagen comes in on a flatbed.
Disgusted, Barret hands over to Hawk, and after half a tank of gas, Hawk to David. We can make laps, but just not
consistent times. The problem is getting worse. The checkered flag is only an hour away. An executive decision has to be made.
"Let's stop trying to fix it and just keep going," says Hawk, rallying the troops, "at least we can take the flag."
United, we gas up and put Hawk out to do or die. Press on regardless, to steal an Arctic dog race battle cry. I am
watching the teams faces. They have the same pained, exhausted look as last September at CMP, where the master
cylinder was failing internally, giving surprise braking results at every corner, ranging from poor brakes to no brakes.
Thankfully, the brakes then did not slow you down so much as they did not make you actually go faster.
Running strong, sputtering, coasting, and running strong again, the Blitzwagen took the checkered flag, and was
even able to survive the cool-down lap and drive back to our paddock under its own power smelling of angst, hot oil,
and the beer the crowd sprays on the finishing cars.
The winner was a Camaro, who finished with 422 laps. We turned a mere 111, and we did get beat by Dale. He
clocked in 177 laps. The results were the average lap time for all cars was about 2:05. And he recorded a 1.59
best lap compared to our 2.03.
Next we go to CMP in May, our ground fixed, and Dale will probably have his high-speed wobble drive shaft under control.
We can't wait.
Just shows your commitment. Good going FJC.